May the hearts I have hurt find it in themselves to forgive me of whatever damage I have knowingly or unknowingly caused, and may I find it within myself to forgive myself of the mistakes I have committed.
I guess it takes this much for me to be forced to my knees and realize that the universe is far bigger than me, and that I am weak, I am nothing without the people around me.
My despair has brought into light the people who truly care about me, and those who do not. It is a bitter pill, but I take it. I take it for my own learning and growth into whatever I am meant to be, next.
My fault lies in the indulgence of my emotions, and as someone so sensitive, most times I really think it is not my fault. But if I was born this way, then maybe it was meant to be yet another test on my existence. I take it, ya Allah, I take it.
I have less than 24 hours till I return to my daily routine, and though I wish I could hide from life for a little longer, I know that that will only do more damage than good. I have to face reality, I have to face life.
And I have to face the fact that sometimes, what my heart feels, is not the absolute truth. I thought you were The One, but I was wrong. My grief is not only in losing you, but in acknowledging that my instinct was wrong.
I was wrong. I was wrong to many, and I was wrong about you.
Whoever he is that is meant for me, I hope he's somewhere in the world looking for me. I hope he finds me.
Because as strong as I potray myself to be, at the end of the day, I am a woman. That makes me a creation made from the rib of a man.
But until he finds me, I have to do this on my own.
May Allah be with me.
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